Seated in the dim glow of the lone bulb, that had exhausted itself after years of service, his life seemed splendid. In darkness light reveals itself and in fear courage. A blunt courage that had made him act earlier eased its grip; he felt a familiar sense of belonging rise up from within. In an instant the bulb went off, leaving behind darkness to wrap around him.
Twelve years ago in darkness had he lost his only friend, years seemed to fly by. It was a rainy night, thunder and lightning continued their routine disputes. Thunder lost its rage and ripped opened the sky with sound, as lightning cautiously retorted with insults of silence. Fred who happened to be the oldest was not home yet, on his way home he realized he wouldn’t get back to that familiar plot of land. He was dead, a victim of a fight he had nothing to do with. A fight no man could control, with flashes of white and bursts of sound the fight continued. They knew of the incident the next day. Robert had lost his only friend, someone he would never hesitate to talk to. This was in a way the beginning of silence as well as fear in his life. For the next twelve years he stayed out of two things, conversations and darkness.
But this time something had changed, fear ceased its control over him. He felt perfectly safe in the warmth of the night. Time passed, the night grew old and withered away making way to a new dawn. As the sun rose sprinkling drops of light onto everything around it, those eye lids that had rested now opened to see the pleasant light of day. Blurred entities began to take shape slowly. He recognized his room but failed to remember anything else, fragments from his past lingered in his mind. He moved around like a ghost, searched for his wallet, nothing was found. His thoughts he spoke aloud in monologue, hoping for something to come out of it. He was truly a ghost, a kind of ghost that was alive but could be killed.
He felt freedom for the first time in his life. The reset button had been hit; he had the chance to turn the wrongs of his life to right. He was one of those lucky men who won not lotteries but a life itself.
In haste had he gone out to discover a forgotten world, but he failed to discover anything new. As each second passed and as his eyes moved from object to object from person to person somewhere in his mind those images struck a note. His freedom or the strangeness and distance he felt from all that surrounded him seemed to disappear. The world of his past came back to him. The street vendors, the busy college goers, the old, the young, faces and voices began to rush through his mind in frenzy.
“Robert…aye Robert..why no Times?” a voice called out.
Realizing that it was his name, he turned back to find the source of that deep odd voice. It was a man holding up a news paper. Forcing a smile on his face he moved towards him.
“So what made you think you could miss out on a day’s action?” the man said “not once have you forgotten to buy the Times”
Robert still sporting a smile moved close and said “Has the world changed so much. I thought it could wait”
“Ahh….that’s clever..but you ought to be informed, don’t you?”
“Fine let me have it”
The news paper seemed to be same, as he skimmed through the pages while waiting for a cup of coffee. Homicides, suicide, scandals, and occasionally award announcements were reported along side pages that contained the list of all those fortunate people who never had the burden of waking from their fruitless slumber. The restaurant was a dust covered building; the grey walls had literally turned black due to the dust. The coffee came shortly, so did the bill.
Once back on the streets he tried even harder to figure out the ambiguities of his life. How did he lose his life’s memory, the most dreaded yet valued possession he had. That was a question that made his brain overheat and produce a migraine.
Seated at a bus stop was an old gentleman who had the air of a government servant, taking quick glances at his watch every two seconds.
“Do you know the way to the medical shop?” Robert asked as gently as possible
The old man drew a quick glance, motioned his head in the forward direction and let out a short undistinguishable murmur.
Getting the hint Robert began in the direction towards the shop, with an irritated mind and an aching head. A few meters and strange faces later he reached a brand new shop with neon lights and huge banners that read “Alpha Medicals” in three different languages.
The drug was handed out quick, in an instant it vanished and the so called relief process began.
Stepping out again into the dust and heat he once again began the lesson of familiarizing taught to him by nature. Almost all of his past had returned to him but one, his job. But that was not to be for very long.
“Hey…where have you been…a lot of people are worried!” said a fair young man who unlike every one else was dressed in a three piece suit on an extremely hot day.
“Hey” he let out a single syllable not knowing what to say.
“So how come you decide to take a walk when the company has decided to throw you a party?” he asked with a hint of dissatisfaction.
“I was sick.”
“That’s sad. After years of reporting you get a promotion to stay indoors and voila you’re sick” an air of arrogance was now rising.
Minutes past, a few more ‘voilas’ too and some more arrogance came along with some chit chat about this and that of the office. Once all that was out, he moved past Robert with haste and a friendly nod.
He was apparently a journalist, he was the one who defined the views of people on a lot of matters and issues, and however he was the only one that wrote about all ages not knowing his own life in totality, still trying to piece together fragments of his past. These fragments however over time guaranteed him that if time was allowed they would fix themselves. Such knowing brought him relief.
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The next morning, fixing his tie, he prepared himself to come face to face with all those less fortunate souls that had woken this morning, rehearsing each line he would speak to them, each nod, each gesture, ensuring not a millisecond robbed him of that air of familiarity he intended to display.
He had been reset, how he didn’t know, that was the incident that had gotten him over his fear of conversations and darkness. Now in front of mirror stood a new man, Robert last name unknown, journalist, unafraid of darkness and conversations. How these changes were brought out in him, he failed to see. The passing of each second made him less and less concerned. In an hours time he would continue in his share of misfortune, his life.
The clock struck nine, a man in a purple tie, hands free, walked out of that apartment with a new found attitude. His face glowed as a result of some unknown victory.
Reaching the corner of that busy street, Robert stopped, let of a sigh and moved towards the newspaper vendor and said “The Times..I ought to stay informed!”
“Yes…it costs dearly to live in the past” sounded the deep odd voice of a man.
With a smile he parted, with not many memories to his possession but with hope that he could make some more, for the plainness of his existence alarmed and frightened him.
He followed his path, as he was guided by the address on the newspaper. And there it was a three storied building with a board as big as a truck which read
“THE TIMES
Where the past recreates and the present unfolds”
Reaching the third floor, after being greeted with strange yet familiar faces, his typical day began or so he assumed. It had taken him years to earn a chair and table, however today his freshness never ceased. For on that eventless day, a day which was same as day that had passed for many, he felt new and ready to recreate his past. For it was the first time in history that a man could change not his future but his own past.
The day progressed just the way he thought it would, eventless.
In a day there lies so much to be conquered, so much to be lost and so much to be forgotten as well as remembered. The arms of the clock moved at different speeds for different people, for some it lagged and yet for some it rushed. For a man with a new found identity the arms rushed, they moved so swiftly that Robert cared for nothing but to savor every passing second even as he considered his life as something less fortunate. He envied the dead, the ones that had found peace in an everlasting undisturbed slumber.
Packing his bag, he moved towards the exit, completing the first day of work after his re- birth. The elevator helped him descend, in a couple of moments he found himself standing at an cold empty corner of a nameless street, still not knowing why he stood motionless.
He felt peace.
He stood undisturbed, until a dark silhouette of a woman appeared a few meters away from him.
Time stopped.
Moving towards the last piece of the puzzle, he knew not what to expect. Her dark brown eyes made him move swiftly.
Out of nothingness suddenly appeared a mob of unfortunate souls, busy and in a hurry to get where they were supposed to go. The crowd swallowed them both; Robert couldn’t distinguish one from another. Moving with the crowd he was lost. In a city of millions this was common, if only he could remember that.
Turning a corner, crossing the road, he went into uncharted territory. A little neighborhood which seemed to exist a few decades back, still unchanged with an atmosphere that felt stagnant and unchangeable by its greatest enemy, time.
Dark clouds gathered, cutting off the sun from its usual habit of savoring its last moments before it had to set. Flashes of lightning and eruption of thunder made its presence known. Rain hesitated to wash away the weariness that lay after a hard days work. Thunder and lightning grew louder and brighter. A few windows closed, and the sound of silence was heard except at moments of dispute. With each flash of lightning a scene recreated itself, breaking almost all laws of time and space that made clocks frown, a scene of tragic consequences unfolded.
A young man of twenty, moved forward, running out of breath, in sheer desperation, a young man that had familiarity written all over his face, a face that revealed itself in flashes. He resembled a good deal of Robert’s past, moving forward in panic, reaching no where but his end.
Robert moved to help him yet distance grew between them, time had revealed a lot but time had no second thoughts in stopping him from changing it. The young man motioned forward yet reached no where.
Robert halted, looked up to the sky as the rain had begun pouring down; the young man however faced downwards lying on the ground motionless. He kept his gaze steady at the heavens, the moment in history that had shaped his life had just unfolded before him, he was finally at peace with darkness and conversations, and this was the last piece of the puzzle that had reset his life.
Now at peace with his past, the fragments that had hidden themselves from him began to resurface. In a strange land witnessing the strangest encounter of his life he was no longer lost. He knew perfectly well how to get back.
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